Finding Meaning as a Childless Woman
I write a lot about childless grief. I also spend time thinking about and exploring the concepts of purpose and meaning in relation to being childless. Due to our pronatalist society, there is an overwhelming message that without children, a woman's life has no purpose or meaning. I don't believe this, but I have felt this. We are unconsciously receiving and believing societal messages all the time. Unpacking, exploring and re-writing unconsciously held beliefs is a big part of integrating grief and opening up to the possibilities of a happy childless life. But where to start?
The Speorg Note
Have you seen the movie Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga? If not, I would recommend it. It is outlandish, over the top and silly. It is also sweet and left me with a big smile on my face. There is much running around in spandex, performance mishaps, and terrible music.
There is also an underlying message of aligning with your values and stepping into vulnerability as a power source. The story follows two friends who have dreamed of representing Iceland in the Eurovision Song Contest since they were children, much to the dismay of their parents, who think they are wasting their lives on this embarrassing pursuit. They write songs that keep missing the mark but continue to search for the elusive 'Speorg Note.' This note can only be reached when they sing from the depths of their hearts, are true to their authentic values, and are willing to be vulnerable. I will leave the explanation at that, as I don't want to spoil it for you!
Following Threads of Meaning
Do you know that feeling when things are just right on all levels? You are spending time with people you can be yourself with, and it feels great. When you get into an activity, there is ease; you lose track of time, and it simply flows like you are tapped into a creative current that enables you to go further than imagined. This is akin to hitting the 'Speorg note.' This is a pull towards people, activities or things you find meaningful. It is essential to listen to these signals and continue to make time to do what inspires these feelings. Meaning and purpose are found by following these threads.
I encourage you to watch the movie - even though it is bad! - as the underlying message is sweet and inspiring.
I hope you are laying the foundation for the 'Speorg Note' in your life, making choices that align with your values, spending time with people who fill you up, and knowing that your vulnerability is your superpower.
